Past problems can be a never-ending source of conflict. Sometimes couples are so desperate to forget the past that they pretend as if nothing has ever happened. They try to will themselves into a state of forgetfulness. But this doesn’t work; it just leads to more resentment. Trying to forget is almost impossible. The real solution is to learn from the past without dwelling in it. To learn from the past, you must face it. Pain can be forgiven, but it cannot be forgotten until it is transformed into hope. New meanings must be added to old memories. Pain turns to promise when a couple decides to review the past so that they are not condemned to repeat it.