Three tips for dealing with financial conflicts:
1. Beliefs determine behavior:
Remember that only changed beliefs can lead to changed behavior. So don’t attack the symptoms such as wasteful spending. Spend your time working to understand the deeply rooted belief system in your spouse’s heart that is at the root of such behavior.
2. Avoid feast or famine solutions:
A couple might be afraid to talk about money because they know that one of them will suggest an extreme solution such as no spending on anything but necessities. But such solutions fail for the same reason that most diets fail: they don’t take into effect our natural (God-given) tendencies to want to enjoy the life we live. The Prison Principle can never replace the Pleasure Principle.
3. Set goals through mutual understanding:
Unity begins with understanding. Each spouse should ask and answer the following questions:
When you think about finances, what is your greatest fear?
Is there anyone or anything in your past that has shaped the way you think about money today?
What do you want the most from money?
If you had all the money you ever wanted, what would you do with it?