Stop blaming and start claiming responsibility

A man reaps what he sows.

My wife and I learned three things from this eternal principle.

First, each of us had to take responsibility for our relationship.  We couldn’t blame one another for the way things were.  Both of us could look back and see that we were reaping the seeds of conflict which we had both sown into our marriage over the years.

Second, the law of sowing and reaping gave us great hope.  We believed that each of us had the power to change our relationship simply by sowing the right seeds into our own hearts and into our relationship over time.  We felt great assurance and joy knowing that if we sowed patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, joy, and peace, then our relationship would be filled with the fruit of the Spirit.  Though this was easier said than done, we knew that even if only one of us were sowing the right seeds, we could still hope to see righteous fruit and great benefits for both of us.

Because seeds have life within them, every good and necessary deed or word puts (or sows) life into the marriage.  Seeds also represent the promise of abundance:   “But this [I say], He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.” ( 2 Cor. 9:6,  ) This meant that we could begin focusing on the future–knowing that by doing or saying what was right, we would make the future bright.

Third, we realized that marriage was like a garden because like gardens, relationships require hard work and persistence to produce the fruits or desired results.  Love works—hard!