The Bare Necessities of Marriage

From our own experience and the Word of God, my wife and I believe that husbands and wives have seven basic needs that must be fulfilled to keep the marriage from dying. These needs are not desires—they are hungers that must be satisfied. God, himself, has placed these hungers into our hearts that we might find their fulfillment within the permanent, loving bonds of marriage.

The Seven Needs:

(1) Each of us hungers to be truly known and understood by the one we love.

(2) Each of us hungers for the security and confidence that comes from knowing that the one we love will count our needs as his or her own.

(3) Each of us hungers to be honored, appreciated, and respected by the one we love.

(4) Each of us hungers for hope and excitement. We need to enjoy our love-life; and we need to believe that our relationship can become better, that tomorrow can be better than today.

(5) Each of us hungers to be loved unconditionally—to be known and loved for who we really are.

(6) Each of us hungers to give generously to the one we love and to receive generously from the one we love.

(7) Each of us hungers to cultivate a deeper spiritual life of faith inwardly and together and to experience the transformational, overcoming power of that faith in our relationship.