Forgive and Forget

March 14, 2019

When you are tempted to dwell on the pain, remember how God forgave you unconditionally and do the same to your partner. We have to learn to move on from our mistakes, to forgive ourselves and others, and to stop living backwards. Guilt, shame, and self-condemnation are burdensome weights that keep us from making progress…

Listen and Learn

March 13, 2019

As you share and listen, focus on putting your faith in forgiveness and the laws of love. It takes faith to keep releasing your spouse from the debts that you have kept consciously or unconsciously against him or her, but do so remembering that “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” (I Cor. 13:5 NIV)

Wise Words

March 12, 2019

Here are some suggestions for beginning a positive conversation about the past: “I need to tell you what I have been feeling.” “I need for you to understand my pain, but I love you, and I am not doing this to hurt you.” “I know we can’t change the past, but I believe that we…

Using the Past to Power the Present

March 8, 2019

When you decide to learn from your past, proceed with faith in God’s redemptive power and refuse to accuse. Commit to going over the issues that must be discussed to get to a new day, but begin in the atmosphere of forgiveness. The past cannot be discussed effectively without a spirit of forgiveness.

The Past, The Present, and The Future

March 6, 2019

Now let me be clear: This does not mean that you have to go over every painful mistake in the past. It would be unwise and destructive to spend your present by living in the past. Your goal is to do and say what needs to be done and said in order to remove the…

Getting Past the Past

March 5, 2019

Past problems can be a never-ending source of conflict. Sometimes couples are so desperate to forget the past that they pretend as if nothing has ever happened. They try to will themselves into a state of forgetfulness. But this doesn’t work; it just leads to more resentment. Trying to forget is almost impossible. The real…

Step 3: Maintain As You Gain

March 3, 2019

Nurture and cultivate the seeds or new attitudes and actions that you are sowing into your marriage. Seeds won’t grow unless you deliberately and systematically commit to watering and tending the soil. We must commit to cultivating and nurturing the new virtues that we want to see growing in our hearts and in our relationships.…

Step 2: Sow what you want to grow.

March 3, 2019

To sow means to put something in the ground. Sowing is the metaphor that we use to describe the activity of investing in our relationship. Scripture tells us that “A man reaps what he sows.” If you want to experience more love, joy, kindness, and peace in your marriage, be the one to put more…

Step 1 in Maintaining the Marriage Garden

March 3, 2019

(1) Prepare and clear the ground. Think of the soil as your hearts. Just like the ground we chose was filled with obstacles to planting, so too the ground of our hearts is filled with obstacles to new growth. What are those obstacles? Some of them are the hard, rocky resentments that you have developed…

Marriage and Gardening

February 28, 2019

Now what does marriage have to do with gardening? Everything! God uses the garden as a metaphor for relationships from Genesis to Revelation. He placed Adam and Eve into the Garden of Eden and commissioned them to cultivate it. Jesus tells us that He is the Vine, we are the branches, and that His Father…